Today After Work ...

After work today, I did what every American does on May 5 … stopped by a local tavern to drink a few cold Dos Equis (with lime) in honor of Cinco de Mayo and to consume my body weight in chips and salsa. Ah, the festive twinkle of jalapeno lights and dusted-off sombreros does my heart proud. But what does it all mean? I mean, do we Americans really need another excuse to drink?

Apparently, we here in the U.S. make a much bigger deal of the holiday than do our southern neighbors. Cinco de Mayo … literally Spanish for “fifth of May” … is observed in regions of Mexico to commemorate the Battle of Puebla in 1862. In a nutshell, Mexico was broke. After fighting both a war with the U.S. and repercussions of its own civil conflicts, the country was in financial despair. So in 1861, then president Benito Juarez announced the suspension of payment of foreign debts so the Mexican treasury would have the opportunity to rebuild. Well, France, England, and Spain didn’t care for that notion. England and Spain sent naval forces to “express their displeasure,” but Mexico negotiated a peace and the forces withdrew. But apparently France, who at the time had considerable occupation forces in Mexico, was pissed! Napolean III sent additional troops and went after Juarez with a vengence. The French army was renowned in the world for its superior training and resources and, with a force of more than 8,000 French troops on Juarez’s trail, the outcome seemed set in stone.

The French forces initially won some skirmishes but were stopped … actually crushed … in the state of Puebla by a poorly-equipped Mexican army of barely 4,000 soldiers. 2 to 1 odds, and the French were effectively stopped. It was more than a year before the rearmed French returned and established a French “emperor” in Mexico. But, according to most historians, the Battle of Puebla was significant for two reasons. First off, the thrashing of a superior force provided a sense of momentum and excitement and unity among the Mexican army. Yes, more battles came but this impetus had the effect of forcing events to proceed at an accelerated rate. Secondly, during that year that the French were regrouping, France was unable to supply and augment the Confederate army which was fighting in the U.S. Civil War. Scholars believe that this lost support was a definite factor in victory for the North.

Additionally, once the U.S. Civil War was concluded, aid was reinitiated to Mexican troops and French rule and occupation was ended only three years later. Some experts claim that if the French had stayed put, the U.S. may have never risen to the “world power” status it now enjoys. Hmmmmmmm.

So I was surfing the Internet … with a slight buzz from my Mexican beer infusion … and found a few great things to pass along. A bar owner in the Chicago area explained that he went all out for Cinco de Mayo “to celebrate the heritage and accomplishments of many of my Mexican-American patrons.” I liked that.

A Washington Post article discussed how the holiday was actually celebrated in Mexico. While many areas do not do much in the way of partying, the state of Puebla and the capital of Mexico City commemorate the date with parades, jet flyovers, and even a reenactment of the battle at a military base near Puebla complete with cavalry charges, cannon fire, and machete fights. How cool ... I loved that.

Then I glimpsed a mention of more than 150 “official” Cinco de Mayo celebrations involving special school exhibits and art projects, musical and dance performances, and, of course, festivals celebrating the foods of Mexican and all Latin cultures. This made me hungry.

Then I read four separate items that made me happy, then sad, then embarrassed, and then forced me to giggle out loud. First, in 2005, the U.S. Congress issued a concurrent request to the President asking the people of the United States to observe Cinco de Mayo with appropriate respect to Mexican culture (happy and proud). Then I read a United Press International mention where Cinco de Mayo was decried as nothing more than a marketing tool for beer companies (sad, and mostly true). Then I saw a comment where a company CEO made a speech to his day shift about how he was proud to be acknowledging “Cinco de Mayo … Mexico’s Fourth of July!!” Well, Mr. CEO, Mexico celebrates a national independence day on September 16 … I wanted to find this man (or his assistant) and smack them with a maraca (embarrassed and angry)! And then I got a message from a FB buddy … he wished me a happy “Cinco de Drunk on Mayo Ass Day,” but added that he was taking three of his Hispanic co-workers out after work and picking up the tab. My friend doesn’t have a clue to the history of today, but he was refreshingly honest and reminded me that he has a big heart!

POINT OF RANT: Happy “heritage day," Mexico!! … whatever you choose to call it.

Today Talking With A Friendly German ...

I did notice that today was the first day of the month of May. For me, it’s really just a reminder that the birthday of a niece is close at hand. Oh, and my stomach gets excited because it knows we will be enjoying some good Mexican food and too much beer on Cinco de Mayo. But earlier tonight, a friend on Facebook from Germany asked me how I celebrated “May Day.” I wasn’t sure how to answer so I gave my description of a typical Sunday in my life. When I asked him how his day had been, I got a VERY DIFFERENT answer.

In Europe, “May Day” is related to any number of ancient pagan festivals celebrated around early May. Many of these celebrations marked the end of winter weather and the start of the farming cycle and provided popular incentives for drinking, dancing, and “displays of fertility.” YIKES!! A few examples include the festival of Flora (celebrating the Roman goddess of flowers), the Celtic festival of Beltane (with loud feasts and the lighting of bonfires to banish the long nights of winter), and the Germanic festival of Walpurgisnacht (with the wrapping of maypoles and lots of dancing).

But what my German friend was talking about was a more politically-motivated “May Day” … one I guess I knew a bit about but not much. It seems in many countries … and in the U.S., to a point … “May Day” is synonymous with International Workers’ Day. So in countries across the globe, May 1 is marked with political demonstrations organized by various groups to focus attention on employee rights and other workforce issues, as well as an international celebration of the social and economic achievements of the labor movement.

One source explained that the roots for International Workers' Day can be found in a public Australian holiday known as “Eight-Hour Day.” Apparently in 1856, a group of stonemason’s negotiated an improvement in working conditions and a “workers’ holiday” was established. The notion of this April 22 holiday began to spread to neighboring countries and eventually the holiday was moved to May 1 to commemorate the Haymarket Square demonstrations of 1886. Known as one of the world’s most grievous labor-related tragedies, this event began when a three-day labor strike of employees of the McCormick Harvesting Machine Co., of Chicago, got out of hand and four employee were killed by police attempted to break the strike. The next day, a rally was held in Haymarket Square to protest the workers’ deaths. Again, police arrived to disperse the crowds and during the process opened fire on the unarmed demonstrators. A dozen more people were killed , including one law enforcement officer. Eventually, eight people were put on trial … all individuals known for having strong worker party political beliefs but almost no connection to the actual demonstration. Four of these men were publically executed and the affair is still cited by political activists as a total travesty of the American justice system and an example of people put on trial purely for their political convictions.

So while the United States may have provided some inspiration for International Workers' Day, it is a true international day with rallies and demonstrations allowing citizens of the world to protest unfair labor laws and practices. In 1958, the U.S. Congress designated May 1 as “Loyalty Day.” It is also sometimes referred to as “Law Day.”

Several countries such as Bangladesh, Italy, China, Syria, Hong Kong, Poland, Taiwan, Portugal, Argentina, Finland, Ireland, Bulgaria, Greece, and Brazil have a long and “tense” histories of celebrating May 1. Whether it is “May Day” or International Workers' Day or “Labor Day,” these nations support this public holiday as an opportunity for workers to unite and speak with one voice.

Which, again, leads me back to my friend ... for him, “May Day” was drinking and dancing in the streets and watching families picnicking together. It was also numerous political demonstrations, some nasty name calling, and even bricks and stones thrown through several storefront windows. He also told me about regions in Germany where the traditions of Walpurgisnacht (Walpurgis Night) are very much alive … where people still wrap maypoles and where young men in love secretly deliver trees decorated with streamers to the women they love. Women, though, sneak to the homes of the males they pine for and place heart-shaped offerings crafted from rose petals or rice grains. And often times, if the culprit is apprehended while delivering the “May Day” tribute, a kiss is required from the “offending” party. Romantic stuff, indeed!!

In many European countries and parts of the U.S., “May Day” antics still exist as a diluted form of the “green root” (pagan) and “red root” (labor) traditions of the past. In the UK, for example, some communities still celebrate with traditional dancing around the maypole, madrigal choirs, and the crowning of the Queen of May. Because of the Roman Catholic observance of May as a celebration to the Blessed Virgin Mary, May flowers are often placed on the heads of statues and figurines of Mary.

In some parts of the United States, “May Day” parades are still held. In more rural areas, the tradition of anonymously giving May Baskets … small collections of flowers and treats … to neighbors is still going strong. I love the idea of brightening someone’s day by leaving a basket of goodies on their doorstep, ringing the bell, and then running away. My Mom used to do that for some of the people in our neighborhood at Christmas who were alone or facing particular hard times. Guess she had the “May Day” spirit in December!

In Sweden, the country celebrates “May Day” as Vappu with crazy carnival-style street festivals. In France, there us a centuries-old tradition of men giving a sprig of lily of the valley to women in return for a kiss. In Hawaii, May 1 is “Lei Day” … not what you think!! … and since the ‘20s islanders have used this day to celebrate native Hawaiian culture.

And in other spots, contemporary “May Day” revelers have created 10K runs, vegan feasts, motorcycle and bicycle tours, streaking events, and organized skinnydipping to commemorate the day.

POINT OF RANT: Where the hell were my kisses on May 1? … I am waiting!!

Today On The Calendar ...

I hate to even use the descriptor “holiday” when referring to April Fools’ Day (or All Fools’ Day), but there are so many idiots that look on the first day of April as an excuse to let their love of tasteless antics roam free. It’s like the Holy Day for foolishness. In my mind, that was what Halloween was for.

The origins of April Fool’ Day (AFD) are a swirling mass of myth and conjecture. The earliest recorded connection between foolishness and April 1 was written in the Canterbury Tales in 1392 by Geoffrey Chaucer. One story told of a vain rooster tricked by a sly fox, while another story was set “32 days after March” which many historians believe was interpreted as April 1. Other literary works from Flemish poet Eduard de Dene and British author John Aubrey also made reference to April 1 as being an “April Fool” and the “Fools holy day” respectively.

Another interpretation has a more religious tint. According to biblical scholars, Noah committed a foolish act when he sent forth a dove before the waters of the Great Flood had receded. He did this on the “first day” of the Hebrew month corresponding to April. Some believe that this handed-down tale propagated “festival of fools” events in parts of medieval Europe.

Yet a third belief is that the celebration of April Fools developed in various cultures simply as a lighthearted way of watching spring weather supplant the cold of winter.

But the greatest consensus of people … and really the origin story that makes the most sense … believe that April Fools’ Day is a result of the establishment of the Gregorian calendar which under the rule of Charles IX moved the start of the new year from March 25 to January 1. Prior to this date, many countries like France celebrated the new year in an eight-day celebration culminating on April 1. With news of the day traveling by foot or by horse, it took years for the new calendaring system to be adopted in rural areas. So for decades, visitors to villages celebrating the old “New Year” labeled its residents as “fools” and general ridicule and harassment took on the form of jokes and pranks. Historians believe that this unofficial “horseplay” spread from France to England and Scotland in the 18th century and later to the American colonies.

While April Fools’ Day (AFD) IS NOT a legal holiday, it is widely recognized and celebrated across the globe. In the U.S., AFD is a time of debauchery where people lower their intolerance for pranks, funny jokes, and general foolery. Good-natured hoaxes are encouraged between friends and family, and even accepted in the workplace. Over the years, pranks have evolved from simple “fibs” to elaborate hoaxes that last all day. But regardless of the complexity of the prank, the originator usually ends the farce by yelling, “April Fool!!”

Some nations have a separate “twist” on AFD. In places such as New Zealand, the UK, Australia, and South Africa, jokes and pranks on April 1 only last until noon. Anyone who plays a prank on someone later in the day is dubbed an “April Fool.” But in Scotland, AFD lasts for two days. The first day is sometimes called “Hunt-The-Gowk Day” (with “gowk” meaning a foolish person) and often celebrated by sending people on meaningless errands. The second day is called “Taily Day” with jokes focusing on people’s posteriors. The “Kick Me” sign is a very common April 1 contrivance in Scotland. In France (and French-speaking portions of Canada) and Italy, April 1 is celebrated in a very similar fashion. In France it is known as “poisson d’arril” (April’s fish); Italians call it “pesce d’aprile" (April’s fish). In both countries, the prank of the day is often trying to attach paper fish to people’s backs without them noticing. In Belgium, April 1 is often celebrated by a tradition where children lock their parent and teachers out of homes and classrooms; candy or small gifts are required to gain entry. In Poland, April 1 is “Prima Aprilis” and jokes often involve whole families, businesses, schools and universities, and social organizations. Very little serious work is accomplished in Poland on the first day of April. Probably the oldest version of a national April Fools’ Day is held in Iran. Called “Sizdah Bedar,” this day of pranks and light humor was first celebrated on the 13ih day of the Persian new year (April 1 or April 2) in 536 B.C.

There are even a few countries that celebrate a similar holiday but elsewhere on the calendar. Many Spanish-speaking nations including Mexico, Spain, and Portugal observe “dia de los Sabtos Inocentes” or “Day of the Holy Innocents.” Originally a religious remembrance celebration, this day … celebrated on December 28 … has evolved into one of pranks and partying. And in Denmark, May 1 is celebrated as “Aprilsnar” with jokes and foolishness.

When I was a kid, the common pranks were simply getting you to look when someone said “hey, your shoes are untied” or when a kid colored the edge of a quarter with a black marker and got you to role it down your head, producing a black line bisecting your face. In college, the sophistication went up a few levels. We used to sneak into friends’ rooms on April 1 and reset their clocks so they were late for classes and lunch until the figured out the prank. Or we propped a wastebasket full of water above a partially open door and called for someone to come into the room. SPLAT!!

I never worked in an office where pranks were really allowed, but I have talked to people that have celebrated AFD by sneaking onto someone’s computer when they were away from their desk and hiding files, or even people who have put a five dollar bill down on the floor just under a filing cabinet and, when someone stoops to retrieve it, loudly tearing apart a scrap of material to make the other person think they have ripped their clothing. I even heard of a group of employees who filled their boss’ office with close to 500 plastic cups full of water. The supervisor had no idea how to even start the clean up.

Even mass media has gotten into the April Fools’ Day pranking game. In the 1950s, a Dutch television news show pranked viewers during an April 1 broadcast by telling them that the Tower of Pisa in Italy had toppled over; the station was flooded with phone calls demanding more information. In1976, BBC Radio 2 colluded with a British astronomer to tell people that on April 1 at 9:47 a.m. a unique planetary alignment would lessen the effect of gravity on Earth temporarily. Hundreds of people later “confirmed” that they were able to jump higher at that exact moment; some listeners called in and reported that they were actually floating. On April 1, 1997, TV hosts Alex Trebek (Jeopardy!) and Pat Sajak (Wheel of Fortune) switched hosting duties to the delight of millions of fans. On April 1, 1998, the fast food powerhouse Burger King ran an advertisement in USA Today announcing a Whopper variation for left-handed people that rotated all the condiments 180 degrees to help lefties eat a neater burger. Thousands of customers were disappointed at counters and drive-thru windows nationwide. On April 1, 2005, the official NASA Web site promised that it would be showing photos later in the day of water found on the surface of Mars; in the afternoon several pictures were posted showing a glass of water balanced on top of a Mars candy bar. On April 1, 2008, National Public Radio (NPR) pranked its straight-laced listeners by announcing that instead of the typical cash refunds, the IRS would instead be sending recipients consumer products that “they thought they would like.” And on April 1, 2010, two commentators on an ESPN segment decided to prank the public and the press by reporting to Masters Tournament lovers that Tiger Woods, who at the time was embroiled in his sex scandal, wished to furthermore be called by his given name Eldrick. The sports channel emplyees perpetrated the prank just to see how many people would swallow the bait.

But the celebration of April Fools’ Day has had some unpopular and even lethal results. On April 1, 1984, media outlets reported the shooting death of singer Marvin Gaye. Believing the story to be a fake, fans and friends of the family reacted negatively at a time when support was needed. On April 1, 2004, Google launched its “Gmail” product to initially dismal results because post people believed its features and promised 1 GB of online storage was just an elaborate hoax. And on April 1, 1946, the Aleutian Island earthquake tsunami claimed the lives of 165 people. Although the death toll was low, reports indicate that almost no one sought shelter or reacted appropriately because they believed all warnings to be an April Fools’ Day hoax!

POINT OF RANT: Happy Birthday, Jess!!!

Today Tapping My Foot ...

Just hold the Christmas phone to Santa for a moment! I like the holidays as much as the next person ... all the lights and decorations and pageantry. I can even handle the crazy traffic and crowded stores and the less-than-ideal commercial aspects of the season to a point, but now they're messing with my Oreos ... again.

The red- and green-filled show-offs are returning for the Christmas season. But just like the lamest gift ever, you can use shiny wrapping paper and those fancy ribbon curls to dress it up but it's still just lame!!

Nabisco first introduced the Oreo "biscuit" in NYC in 1912 but it was so NOT like the Oreos that have captured my heart and waistline. The original cookies were lumpy little mounds and filled with either the traditional cream ... YUM! ... or lemon meringue. Really? Lemon Oreos?

Like other candies and confectionery creations of the time, Oreos were originally sold by the pound in novelty tins and often brought out as treats for special occasions or as gifts to impress someone special.

"My" Oreo wasn't developed until about 40 years later (1952) when the manufacturer started imprinting the cookies with the distinctive Nabisco Oreo logo, as well as employing the snappy branding "Oreo Creme Sandwich." Additionally, at some point the recipe for the cream filling was adjusted to eliminate pork fat. Yeah ... pork fat! If it tasted like Oreo cream filling, I'd hollow out a pig with my tongue!!

Anyway, my complaint ... "rant" if you will ... is that, regardless of what they say, Oreo cream with food coloring tastes different. Flat. Less delicious!! Now, when the Nabisco company execs handling Oreos have gone temporarily insane in the past and tried things like mint-flavored filling, peanut butter-tinted tragedies, and their "Banana Split" and "Strawberry Milkshake" fiascoes, I've given them the benefit of the doubt ... and sufficient time to come to their senses. Similarly, I showed the same patience with "Golden Oreos" (vanilla cookies instead of chocolate ... I know, utter madness), "Uh-Oh Oreos" (vanilla wafer cookies with chocolate cream filling ... reality gone loco), and the whole line of reduced-fat and sugar-free formulations (come on ... they're Oreos!). But I also knew going in that those affronts to the "natural cookie order" would taste bad. "Different" ... I meant to say "different."

What makes me crazy is the aforementioned holiday cookies or the orange-hued scares I just suffered through for Halloween. And don't even get me started on the blue- and pink-pastelled treats they put on the shelves for Easter. The people responsible for those taste-impaired decisions need to be put through the same special 300-foot oven that bakes the damn not-as-good shaded shams.

And while I'm in Oreo mode, what about the good ... dare I say GREAT ... innovations that Nabisco and Kraft (the umbrella company) have dangled before the cookie-lovers of this planet and then taken away like a toy from a naughty child. Grievance 1: "Double Stuf Oreos," introduced in 1975, are supposed to have twice the amount of cream filling as a traditional Oreo. BULL!!! They're shrinking faster than an 85-year-old Grannie with advanced osteoporosis. Grievance 2: "Big Stuf Oreos" got pulled from the shelves after only seven scant years because of lagging popularity. Really? Giant Oreos weren't popular? Maybe not on Mars! And Grievance 3 (and the most grievous): In 2006, "Triple Stuf Oreos" were sold in select cities for a one-month, never-to-be-repeated limited campaign. Where the #%*$ was the memo? Hell, I read my Oreo newsletter faithfully cover to cover and there was no mention ... not even a hint of the creamy Nirvana about to unfold. I could have taken vacation time ... or relocated. That was just criminal, and I AM looking for a lawyer who will take the case!!

POINT OF RANT: Where do you buy pork fat?

Today In The Candy Aisle ...

I don't want to sound like a tired old man, but I might just skip Halloween this year. I retrieved my box of decorations ... cobwebs and a pumpkin carving kit and a mechanical spider that shrieks and a mummy's arm that crawls across surfaces and a super-cool Frankenstein head candy dish ... but it all looks tattered and just plain silly. I might still put out some pumpkins and gourds and Indian corn, but I may pass on "Beggars' Night" ... just go to a movie or be elsewhere. Especially since buying candy to feed the masses has gotten to be so expensive.

I'm also in a new apartment this year and really don't know how many kids are in the area. I don't want to buy too little candy and run out and look like a douche to all the little gkosts and goblins, but I also don't want to buy too much cause I'll just devour it myself then. And I have a cat now ... she could get loose and terrorize the neighborhood with her loud purring and back feet-only claws. And my steps are steep and narrow. No, this would be an ideal time to break the cycle ... buck the tradition. And I can blame it on the cat and the apartment, I thought ... insert evil laugh here.

But then I remember when I was a kid and how magical Halloween was. The air always chilled and crisp. The streets choked with laughing kids in costumes ranging from original to store-bought silly. And the candy ... oh, the mounds and mounds of candy. Pop Rockz, Mallo Cups, Razzles, chocolate "pirate" coins, BlowPops, candy corn, Nerds, ReeseSticks, Gobstoppers, M&Ms ... all the sugar a little boy could dream of. And then up the street there was this really nice guy who transformed his lawn into an eerie graveyard and he dressed up like a very convincing Grim Reaper. Until I was a bit older, I could never deal with the man when he said "hi" when I walked past, or if I was out riding my bike and he was in his yard and asked how my parents were. All I could see was his face covered in grizzly make-up and the sickle up the sleeve of his tattered black robe while he did his best to talk in a low, menacing voice. GOOSEBUMPS! DAMN!!

When I was very little, my parents also helped out with a neighborhood "haunted barn," after which the families would have a big bonfire with hotdogs, big crockpots of potato soup and chili, and toasted marshmellows and caramel apples. And us kids would swap candy so I could corner the market on Razzles. Every year, my Mom usually dressed like a suburban witch and my Dad like a ship-less pirate.

After my mother died, I was one of two siblings still living at home while I finished college. We lived in the "busy" ... code word for rundown and packed with people ... section of town. Our Mom loved decorating for Halloween and really enjoyed seeing all the kids and parents while she handed out candy, so my older brother and I decided we'd keep her zest for trick or treat alive if Dad would foot the bill. That first year he was still in a daze ... he just handed us cash and told us to do the best we could.

Well, my brother and me got serious about the event ... organized. We decided we would use inexpensive sandwich bags and create Halloween "treat kits" so all those germy little hands wouldn't be touching all the candy we secretly hoped to inherit as "leftovers." Each bag had one "miniature" candy bar, a packet of candy corn, a packet of Skittles, four or five flavored Tootsie Rolls, and a jawbreaker that looked like a faceted gemstone. We also found several bags of little glow-in-the-dark rats and spiders and tried to put a few in every bag. We started the "assembly line" about three days before Halloween ... Dad had to get more candy twice. "Christ, boys," he said, "we're not supplying candy to the whole state!" We reminded him that, as just barely young adults, we knew the kind of onslaught that was just around the corner. I think he was just happy to see us excited about something.

Halloween was on a Thursday night that year. We had the porch light blazing, Mom's Frankenstein bowl,... the one I now possess ... filled with bags, and the rest within easy reach. Just shy of 350 little princesses, police officers, mummies, vampires, Power Rangers, ghosts, wizards, dinosaurs, black cats, Pooh characters, and more made the trek up our four big stone steps to add to their bounty of confections. We had about a dozen bags left which disappeared quickly ... the craziness and frenetic energy of the evening demanded a sugar fix!

But now ... in the present ... did I really want to go to that kind of trouble? Besides, I had a potluck at work to worry about too. We always go a little crazy with food on the holidays, and Halloween was no exception. One year, I made those pumpkin rolls with decadent cream cheese frosting. I always add a bit of extra cinnamon and nutmeg into the pumpkin batter and a touch of lime zest to the filling ... a nice fresh twist. And another year I made a thick root vegetable stew that you actually cook and serve in a hollowed out pumpkin. That stuff was killer ... garlic and oregano and cumin accenting the flavors of squash, potatoes, leeks, parsnips, onion, fennel, and eggplant. There had not been enough left of that to even bother bringing home.

This year I was making "deviled eyes" ... basically deviled eggs, but you tint the filling (I chose green and brown), add a black olive for the "pupil," and draw a few bloodshot accents with a red icing pen. As a dry run, I made a dozen and took them to my landlord to sample. She thought they were wonderful and appreciated how I had added sage and celery seed to the fluffy filling. Now, my landlord is a wonderful lady who is also an outstanding cook. She suggested I switch the brown hue for blue ... I agreed it would be much more appealing ... and that I dribble some spicy cocktail sauce on the eyes instead of using the squiggly and too-sweet icing accent. "And maybe give the two different colors slightly different tastes," she cooed as she popped a second egg in her mouth, replacing the Saran wrap over the small serving plate and promising to save the rest for later on when her husband got home.

Well, I had a while until Halloween actually occurred, but i decided to make a grocery list for all the ingredients I would require for my eerie appetizers. Maybe I could pick up a bag of party-size 3 Musketeers bars ... or maybe two ... just in case friends with kids stop by, I thought as I added it to the list. And it wouldn't hurt to have a bowl of candy corn on hand. And some of those gummy eyeballs I saw last week ... those are so cool! And I wonder if they still make "pixie sticks?"

Oh, hell, I laughed inwardly, I better get some sandwich bags just in case!

POINT OF RANT: Like a vampire, old habits will always come back and bite you in the ass ... and the wallet!